How to Be a Good Homemaker

Homemaking is no easy feat — but it doesn’t have to feel like a cycle of unrelenting, mundane tasks. For many of us the skill of homemaking is not something we were taught, but desire to learn. Here are some tips I’ve learned along the way to help you on your journey of becoming the best homemaker you can be.

Though it may be difficult at times, it is important work and when done lovingly much joy can be found in the ordinary.

What is Homemaking?

Simply put, homemaking is the art of making a house a home. A place of comfort and ease.

What is a Homemaker?

A homemaker is a nurturer who works diligently to make the home an abode of repose and stability.

Why Homemaking is Important

Homemaking is important because the family is important. “This is because it is the place where generations are raised, and the future of this nation depends upon the condition of the family.” – Shaykh Salih al-Fawzan, A Woman’s Guide to Raising a Family.

It is not just routines and chores, it is worship. A homemaker who devotes herself to caring for her family and home is fulfilling her role from her Lord. She contributes greatly to building a nation by cultivating her children upon righteousness.

Give Your Time and Love

Though unintentional, we sometimes fall into caring more for the condition of the home itself than the people in it.

Have I cleaned enough? Do I have it well organised? No doubt these things hold importance (which we’ll discuss later) but they’re not all that matters. Aside from the household duties, making a home necessitates tenderness and much care.

Time is one of your greatest blessings from your Lord. A significant part of what makes a house a home, is being intentional about how you spend time with the people you love.

How to Show Your love

A husband and wife being affectionate towards one another and making efforts to nurture their relationship, is fundamental to maintaining a strong family. This partly entails the wife contentedly accepting the husband’s role as head of the home and protector of the family.

Our children are also from those most deserving of our time, especially in the formative years. Their interactions and experiences during this period have a significant impact on them for the rest of their lives. 

Showing your children love through kindness, compassion, gentleness and empathy is spending your time well. They won’t always long for attention this way. Delight in the cuddles, sweet smiles and simple everyday moments while you can — as each day passes they grow a little bigger.

Prioritise

Naturally you hope for your labour to bring about fruits, and though a homemaker’s job is never truly “done” there are continuous blessings gained through hard work.

When tending to the household duties you must aim to do them well. However, it’s important to recognise that well does not equate to absolute perfection. You are human; you cannot do everything.

Keep Your Priorities Simple

Perfectionism sometimes gets the better of us, resulting in the misconception of not having “enough time” to achieve everything. Perhaps there are a few ways we are just over complicating things.

Prioritising means you are then able to concentrate on what is most important.

An example of top priorities:

1. The spiritual and emotional well-being of the family. Your relationship with Allāh takes precedence over all things. Making sure you aid your loved ones in seeking nearness to Him is imperative.
2. Good health. Minimise toxins from things such as household cleaning products, or body care and eat healthy, home cooked meals on a regular basis.
3. Cleaning and maintaining organisation of the home each day.

Minimise and Organise

Sometimes overwhelm occurs due to having too many unnecessary things. Each and every item requires some level of care, which also takes up mental energy.

Start Decluttering Slowly

Figure out what you can reasonably manage and slowly clear out the things you no longer want or need.

Assessing the functionality of items and areas in your home is something that needs to be done from time to time. You will then be able to reorganise accordingly.

Perhaps you could relocate a piece of furniture to a different room and put it to better use. Your current season of life will be one of the determining factors for what isn’t working well in your home.

Want to keep your stuff minimal? Here’s the items you actually need: Homemaking Essentials

Have a Daily Rhythm

Although I personally find strict schedules do not work for me, I do like to have a general flow to my day without the time constraints. Having a basic idea of what you’re going to be doing next provides a sense of stability for yourself and children.

This might look like: starting the day with breakfast, then clean up, moving on to homeschooling, the children then play until lunch, have lunch, outside time, dinner and so on.

Plan Ahead

Planning ahead allows you to be more efficient with your time and prevents unwanted stress. I am a planner (with a hint of spontaneity). Which is why I love lists and write one for almost everything: groceries, cleaning tasks, clothes shopping, personal projects, you name it.

Meal planning, packing bags in advance and cleaning your kitchen completely before bed are all great ways to keep on top of things.

You could write your weekly to-do list on the notes app in your phone, or stay classic and opt for a refillable notebook like this one.

Delegate

Needless to say, as the homemaker your role in household duties is greater than other family members. Nevertheless, everyone has a role to play in upholding a conducive home environment.

Even children from as early as one year old can be given minor responsibilities, such as helping tidy up their toys.

Raising a family involves teaching good manners, responsibilities and essential life skills.

You might also like: 15 Ways to Simplify Your Life With Kids

Keep Going

Homemaking with kids means a lot of little breaks throughout your daily tasks — the baby needs milk (yes, again), and toddler requires assistance, immediately, as usual.

As you make your third attempt at washing the same pile of dishes, but there are tiny hands tugging at your dress, or a child repeatedly asking you to play. It may feel like interruptions of your work, but I encourage you to make a mindset shift and embrace it as part of your work.

Your Lord is ever watchful and appreciative. Each hardship you face with patience, heartfelt gesture you do, and the selfless love you give. None of it is amiss.

Conclusion

Homemaking is a skill much like any other, the more you work at it the better you become. Each day is an opportunity to learn and improve.

Please feel right at home to share any of your favourite tips in the comments. I’d love to read them and our dear sisters can also benefit, in sha Allāh.